The Turmoil of the Beehive/Script
English Dub *'Panty & Stocking': The Turmoil of the Beehive! *'Panty': One more time with feeling. *'Garterbelt': Daten City. Sometimes, it feels like a vacuous place where everyone wants to be number one, especially in high school. The guys want the girls to want them and the girls want the other girls to want to be them. However, sometimes being the best means being the worst. *Good morning, angels. It's so nice of you to grace us with your most charming presence today. *'Panty': This is who I'm waking up to? Asshole! *'Stocking': I'm not gonna stop what I was doing, so you'll only have yourself to blame for smell, Preacher Douchebag. *'Garterbelt': I'm gonna ignore that and keep talking. Alright, tartlets. We have a grave situation on your hands. *'Panty': Yeah, I'll bet. Let me guess, it's another rogue shitstorm. *'Garterbelt': The only shitstorm here is the one coming out your mouth on a daily basis, but I've prepared for it this time. *'Chuck': Chuck! *'Garterbelt': Ladies and Panty, meet our new client. The Principal of Daten City's academic institution. We only have one here, apparently. *'Panty': Client for what? I don't do old dudes. *'Principal': Oh, well, that's just... Oh, never mind. Well, the thing is our students are missing or rather going missing OUCH I tried calling the police but they can't figure it out. *'Stocking': And there must be a ghost behind it, right? Can I go now? *'Principal': It's more than a ghost! It's the devil himself! Please save our school! Oh, Jiminy! That feels amazing just a little to the left *'Panty': Leg rape? Way to have him ask for our help like we fucking have the right to say no. *'Garterbelt': I knew you'd agree. Alright, you hookers! Go wash your asses in the sink and get to high school before that ghost swindles anymore students! Remember, you're incognito. So, resist the urge to be yourself. *'Student': Are those celebrities? *'Student #2': Are we in a music video? *'Panty': We're angels, dick. *'Stocking': Uh, you do know what incognito means, right? It's the opposite of that. *'Panty': Who'd have thunk the earthly high school boys would be just as pervy as those assholes in Heaven? *'Stocking': That was convincing. For a minute, I actually believed you had some idea with schools were like up there. *'Panty': I specifically said the perverts at the school, Stocking. I wouldn't know that if I actually wasted time in class, now would I? *'Stocking': True story. Alright, let's get this over with. Where should we go first? *'Panty': Huh? What in the fuck? That's not suspicious or anything. *'Stocking': We don't even have to go looking for trouble. Is that necessary? *'Brief': Whoa. Holy Mary mother of... *'Panty': That all you got? Hey, here's a thought. Let's take this one home and call it a day! *'Stocking': Yeah let's say he's a geeky bee ghost or something. I'm down! *'Brief': Help! I can't see and my face hurts! *'Barby': Oh, Briefers, darling. You're not really running around carelessly with my precious beehive on your head now, are you? *'Students': It's Barby! *'Brief': I'm so sorry, but it's not my fault! I swear! *'Panty': Aw, that was a good look for you. Why'd you take it off? So, hey. What the fuck is that? *'Barby': Ew, gross. Is that Barby-wannabe I smell? I have no idea who you are or who you're pretending to be but allow me to share something really important to you. This school belongs to moi. *'Panty': You the fucking janitor? *'Stocking': Yeah, 'cause we met the principal and he's hotter. *'Barby': My name's Barby. You may also refer to me as Queen Barby, Her Majesty or goddess. Allow them to demonstrate. *'Students': Hail Barby! Queen Barby! Her Majesty! Goddess! *'Panty': You're working way too hard there. Did she seriously refer to herself as Barbie, like the outdated fetish doll with a zillion lame-ass occupations? *'Stocking': She did and I'm allergic to plastic. Let's get out of here before we catch slut-face. *'Barby': Oh, no! No one walks out in the middle of my being worshiped and how dare you call me plastic! *I guess I was just born with it. *'Panty': Look how hot I am as a scientist. Hard-on! Achoo! Hahahahaha! *'Barby': Go! *'Panty': Take notes, my nerdlings. *'Student #3': Man, those Panty and Stocking babes totally deleted Barby from everyone's playlist. *'Student #4': Haha. Consider her beta test expired. *'Student #5': Yeah, right? I don't know what that means, but I'm ready for a new mental image for my Fleshlight. Bye-bye, Barby! *'Student #6': My brother nerds, the time has come to assimilate! We must wipe our hard drives clean of that nasty virus and hail our new splendiferous royalty! *'Barby': I know I didn't just hear what I think what I thought I heard. Try that again, suckers! *'Sex Ed Teacher': Listen up, maggots! You're still practically embryos and that means if you have sex, you'll die! I mean it! And death is permanent! *'Panty': Check this shit out, Stocking. Could you just die? It even moves when you stick a finger upper. *'Stocking': "Third Base Panty. Collect all four". You're just into this for the uniform. *'Panty': And your point? *'Sex Ed Teacher': That's what I like to hear! Alright, you can use one of these while you're having sex, but you're still gonna die! Take one and pass it back! *'Panty': Is that gum? Thanks, bro. (she chews on the pink condom like gum) *'Brief': Hey, what are you girls doing? *'Panty': What the fuck, sphincter? *'Stocking': Oh, hey, geek boy. Didn't see you there. *'Brief': You gotta do something! All my friends are disapearing. And by friends, I mean the people in the halls! *'Stocking': What's that? *'Brief': This is the work of a Ghost! They're gonna kidnap us all and eat our brains! *'Panty': They're gonna what now? Dude, slow your fucking roll. I can't understand you. *'Brief': You may not believe this, but I am an expert in the occult. Plus, I got this Proton Pack for my birthday last year and it's awesome! *'Panty and Stocking': Those things are for real? *'Panty': Man, I hope whoever gave you that thing kept the receipt because it's either broken as hell or all just part of their plan to make you look like a Comic Con d-ouche. *'Stocking': So what exactly were we taking when we decided to follow the ginger freak bro show? *'Brief': Sorry, it usually works. *'Panty': Proton Pack of shit! *'Brief': Oh, no! Wait! There it goes! It found something! *'Panty': I knew I could fix it. *'Barby': Well, isn't this a delight. I was afraid I'd never meet my favorite slut-kankles ever again. *'Panty': Ugh. Aren't you supposed to be in the trash? *'Stocking': That entrance is way too big for you. *'Barby': Please, I have the biggest entrances in the whole school. *'Panty': That's a lot of information about you I do not need to know. Booger flick in your face! *'Barby': Aw, that was almost adorable. I'll give you something to flick when you see what I brought here for you. *'Brief': I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought! *'Panty': Have this been any more fucking predictable? *'Stocking': Nope. She's a queen, she's a bee, she's a queen bee, we fucking get it! *'Barby': I have you have something good to turn into teacher barby because stupidity results in death in my classroom. *'Panty': Introducing brain-slashing Barby! *'Stocking': This better not take forever. I need a candy bar! *'Panty': Screw that mess who's ready to play? *'Barby': Barby blast! They certainly have an experience playing with balls, don't they? *Brief: It was all a dream thank goodness *Panty: Heads up ging! *'Stocking': Just who are these helmeted men? *'Panty': Make my day. B-gone! *'Football Player #1': My head hurts. *'Football Player #2': Was I just a bee? *'Stocking': Uh, not exactly. Random House Barby decided to put bees in your ears to control you. *'Panty': So, you know what that means! It's extermination day, b-itches! *'Stocking': Panty, I'm gonna need you to stop making bee puns! *'Barby': Get your asses out there and give the poison! *'Panty': Did she just shoot bee butts at us? *'Football Players': I see London, I see France... *'Panty': We girls can do anything! Ain't that right, Barby? Repent, motherfucker! *'Barby': But, I'm vintage! *'Panty': Uh. That's it? Cheap bastard. *'Stocking': Here come the geeks. *'Brief':Holy shit you guys are real ghost hunters I'm so excited I'm itching but in places I shouldn't be just wait until I tell peoplw about this a few of them will want to be friends with me I know it. *'Panty': Hello, smorgasmbord! who's face should I play rocking chair with first? *'Stocking: O'h I guess you've earned it *'Panty': line up boys *'Stocking': I need some sugar *'Panty': Don't put your finger there please don't put your finger there! *'Principal': I need to exorcise this demon! *'Panty': What the fuck are you doing? Put your finger back! Touchdown! Yeah! It's going to overtime! Japanese Transliteration * Coming Soon